Hello everyone. I am here to ask for your opinion, because I am feeling a little unsettled after an event that happened yesterday, and my good friend, she says I should put it here to see what others think.
I am a person who values routine. It is very important for my health, especially as I am getting older. For almost ten years, every single morning, without fail, I visit the public garden near my home. There is a specific bench there, under a beautiful old oak tree. This bench, it is special. It has the perfect view of the small pond, where the ducks are swimming. More importantly, it catches the morning sun just right, and it is in a quiet spot where I can do my daily meditation and gentle stretching exercises for my back. My doctor, he has told me these exercises are very important for my chronic back pain, and the meditation helps my mind to stay calm. This bench, it is like my personal sanctuary. Everyone in the garden, they know me. They know this is my spot. I arrive at 7:30 AM exactly, I set up my small cushion, my thermos of herbal tea, and sometimes a book.
Yesterday, I arrived at the garden, precisely at 7:30 AM, as always. But when I came to my bench, it was not empty. A young woman, she was sitting there. She was on her phone, laughing loudly, with her feet up on the bench. Her shoes, they were dirty. My heart, it sank a little. I have never seen her before in this garden. I thought, perhaps she does not know. So, I approached her with politeness, as is proper.
I said to her, “Excuse me, miss. Good morning. I apologize for disturbing you, but this bench, it is usually my place for my morning exercises. I come here every day for many years for my health. Would it be possible for you to find another bench?”
She did not even look up from her phone at first. She just waved her hand, like I was a fly. Then, slowly, she looked at me. She had a very annoyed expression. She said, “Are you serious? This is a public park. I can sit wherever I want.” Her voice, it was very loud and dismissive.
I tried again, with a calm voice. “I understand it is a public park, of course. But this spot, it has great importance for my health. My back, it needs the sun, and I have my routine. There are many other benches in this garden that are empty.” I even pointed to a few benches that were closer to the main path, also empty. I was trying to be helpful.
She just scoffed. “Look, lady, I’m comfortable here. Go find your own spot. This isn’t reserved.” And she put her feet back up, looking at her phone again. She even put on headphones, as if to ignore me completely. This made me feel very disrespected. I am an older woman, I was polite, and she treated me like I was invisible. My blood, it began to boil a little, but I kept my composure.
I thought, I cannot let this disrupt my health routine. My doctor, he says consistency is key. I cannot miss my meditation and stretches. So, I decided, if she would not move, I would still do my exercises. I have a large, thick yoga mat that I use. It is about six feet long. I also have my special meditation cushion and a small, folding table for my tea and book. These items, they take up space.
I walked to the end of the bench, where she was not sitting. It was just enough room for me to begin setting up. I slowly and carefully unrolled my large yoga mat on the ground directly in front of the bench. Then I placed my meditation cushion at the end of the bench, right next to where her feet were, and my small table on the ground beside it. I took out my thermos and my book. I did all of this very calmly, very deliberately. I was not making any noise, just going about my usual preparations. She could not ignore me now, because my mat was almost touching her feet, and my cushion was right beside her.
She took off her headphones. “What are you doing?” she demanded.
I looked at her, very calm. “I am setting up for my morning exercises, as I told you. I must do them for my back.”
She looked around at my mat, my cushion, my table. She saw that my entire routine, it required the space in front of the bench and a good portion of the bench itself. She saw that she was now very much in the way. She looked annoyed, she rolled her eyes very dramatically. Then she stood up, grabbed her bag, and stomped away without a word. She went to one of the other empty benches, much closer to the noisy path.
I then had my bench, and I completed my exercises and meditation in peace. But when I told my friend about it, she said maybe I was a little aggressive, that I made her feel uncomfortable. I do not think so. I was simply doing my routine. I was polite first. She was rude. I did not yell. I did not touch her. I just continued with my life. She chose to leave because she was uncomfortable, not because I forced her.
Am I The Jerk? I feel like I was completely reasonable. This bench, it is very important for my health, and I have used it for so long. She was the one being inconsiderate and rude. Please, tell me your honest thoughts. Was I wrong to simply continue with my necessary routine?
