Okay, so im writing this because my wife says Im being unreasonable and my neighbor is definately being unreasonable, so I need outside perspective. Im at my wits end here, honestly. Its about our shared fence and this stupid dog.
So, we live in a neighborhood with fairly close houses, you know, not huge yards. We have a wooden fence that separates our property from our next-door neighbors. Its maybe 15 years old, perfectly functional, but not exactly new. We bought our house about 3 years ago, and the neighbors, a couple, have been there for about 7. They seemed fine at first, a little quirky maybe, but not bad people. Then they got a dog.
Its a medium-sized dog, some kind of terrier mix. Energetic. It barked. A lot. At first, it was just normal dog barking, you know, when the mailman comes or if a squirrel runs across the yard. Annoying, sure, but manageable. But then it escalated. This dog would just bark. For hours. Sometimes it seemed like it was barking at nothing. Just standing at the fence, staring into our yard, and barking. Not just a few barks, but sustained, high-pitched, ear-splitting yapping. It started to drive us absolutely crazy. We work from home sometimes, and it was impossible to concentrate. Even when we werent working, it was constant noise pollution. Our kids couldn’t even play in the backyard without being subjected to this incessant racket.
We tried to be nice about it. I went over there a few times. The first time, I was polite. I said, “Hey, just wanted to mention, the dog’s been barking quite a bit lately. Is everything okay?” They were a little defensive, said he was just a “high-strung” breed and he’d “calm down.” He didn’t. It got worse.
The second time, I was a bit more direct. I said, “Look, the barking is really becoming a problem. It’s constant. We can’t even have a conversation in our own backyard without it. We’re considering talking to the city about noise ordinances.” This time, they got downright hostile. The husband, a real hothead, told me to mind my own business and that it was their dog and their property. He implied I was the problem, not the dog.
So, my wife and I talked. We decided we needed a more permanent solution. The fence. The fence is the direct line of sight for the dog. If the dog can’t see us, maybe it won’t bark. Seems logical, right? So, I went to the hardware store and bought a bunch of those plastic lattice panels. They’re green, blend in okay with the bushes. I was going to attach them to our side of the fence, just the parts that face their yard where the dog usually stands. It wouldn’t completely block the view, but it would obscure it enough, I figured.
I started working on it on a Saturday morning. I had a few panels up, about halfway down the fence line, when the neighbor comes out. He sees me, sees the lattice. His face just turns red. He storms over.
“What the heck do you think you’re doing?” he yells. “You can’t just go attaching things to my fence!”
I tried to explain. “It’s not your fence, it’s a shared fence. And I’m just trying to block the dog’s view so it stops barking. It’s for both our benefit.”
He was having none of it. “It’s my side of the fence! You don’t have permission to do anything to it! You’re ruining the look of it! It looks like a garbage dump!”
I pointed out the dog was literally inches from my side, barking incessantly for months. I said, “This is a reasonable solution to a problem you refuse to address!”
He got even angrier. He started yelling about property lines and how I was damaging his fence. He threatened to call the police. I told him to go ahead, that I wasn’t doing anything illegal. Shared fence, trying to mitigate a noise nuisance. Pretty sure that’s fair game.
He ran inside and came back with his wife. She’s crying, saying how I’m harassing them and that their dog is a sensitive creature and I’m being cruel. Cruel? The dog is driving us insane! I told them that if they wanted to stop the barking, they could have addressed it months ago. They chose not to. This is the consequence.
He then grabbed one of the lattice panels I had already attached and ripped it off the fence. The screws came out, and he threw the panel into my yard. He was still yelling, saying I was a trespasser and I was vandalizing his property. I stood my ground. I said, “Fine. You want to play hardball, I’ll play hardball. If you don’t want the lattice, then you can deal with the city. And maybe I’ll start looking into a noise complaint myself.”
He then told me to get off his property and never touch the fence again. He’s now talking about getting a lawyer and suing me for damages. My wife thinks I went too far by trying to attach things to the fence without their express permission, even if it’s shared. But honestly, what else was I supposed to do? We’ve tried talking, we’ve tried being reasonable, and they’ve met us with hostility and a non-stop barking dog. I feel like I was trying to find a compromise, a visual compromise, that would benefit everyone. They are the ones being completely unreasonable and letting their dog terrorize the neighborhood. I just want some peace and quiet.
So, Reddit, AITA here? Or am I the one being reasonable in a difficult situation?
