I am having a situation with my new neighbors, and I am needing to ask for outside opinions. I am thinking I am in the right, but they are making such a fuss, it is making me to doubt a little. Please, tell me the truth.
I am living in my house for many years now. It is a nice house, with a good garden. For me, the garden is very important. I spend much time to make it beautiful. My prize, you could say, is my rose garden. It is not just some roses; it is a very specific type, a heritage variety, needing much care and attention. I am very proud of my roses. They win small awards in the local club, you know? It is my passion, my hobby, and my property is reflecting my care and my hard work.
About six months ago, new neighbors moved in next door. They are a young couple, and they are having two small children, a boy and a girl. Maybe six and eight years old, I am not sure exactly. At first, I am thinking, “Okay, new people, I will be polite.” I wave, they wave. All is fine.
But then, the problems are starting. The children, they are playing in their garden. This is normal, of course. But their garden is not so big, and my garden, it is much bigger, especially near the property line. Their children are playing with a ball, a big, bouncy ball. And this ball, it is constantly coming into my garden. Not just in the grass part, no. It is always landing right in my rose garden. Sometimes it is just falling, sometimes they are running to get it, stepping over the delicate plants, making damage. My roses are not just flowers; they are living things, they are my investment of time and love. Each petal is important.
The first few times, I am being very understanding. I am picking up the ball, and I am giving it back to them. I am saying, very kindly, “Please, children, be careful for the roses. They are very fragile.” They are saying “Sorry,” but then ten minutes later, thump, the ball is again in the roses. After a week, I am going to the parents. I am saying, “Hello, your children’s ball is coming into my roses very much. Could you please tell them to be careful, or maybe to play in another part of their garden?” The mother, she is smiling, saying, “Oh, we are so sorry! We will tell them.” But nothing is changing. The ball is still coming. My roses are having broken stems, squashed blooms. It is very upsetting for me.
I am feeling very frustrated. I am thinking, “What can I do?” I am not wanting to be difficult, but my property is my property, and my roses are my special things. So, I am having an idea. I am thinking, if there is a small fence, a decorative fence, it will remind the children to stay away and protect the roses. It is being a good idea, I think. I am buying nice, low, decorative picket fencing, maybe a foot high, and I am installing it around the perimeter of my rose garden, on my side of the property line, of course. It is not a big, ugly fence. It is very tasteful, complementing the garden. I am thinking this is being a polite, clear boundary.
Well, this is not working either. The children, they are still playing. The ball is still coming. Sometimes, they are even leaning on my new fence, or kicking the ball against it. One day, I see the boy, he is trying to climb over it to get his ball, and he is stepping on two of my most precious rose bushes. That is when I am having enough. I am feeling like my kindness is being taken for granted, and my property rights are not being respected.
I am thinking, okay, they are not understanding verbal warnings. They are not understanding a decorative fence. What will they understand? I am needing a more… persuasive method. Something that is naturally discouraging. I am doing some research, and I am finding out about certain plants. Plants that are very thorny, or maybe having a strong, unpleasant smell if touched, or even causing a little itch. I am not wanting to hurt anyone, no, but I am wanting to protect my property. So, I am going to a specialized nursery, and I am buying several plants. I am buying some very aggressive, thorny bushes – not poisonous, but definitely prickly. And I am buying some other plants that, if you brush against them, they are making a little itchy feeling. I am planting them all along the property line, on my side, just inside where my decorative rose fence is. It is maybe a foot wide strip. I am thinking of it as a natural deterrent, a living fence that says “keep out” in a way they can understand.
This is when the real trouble is starting. The children, they are still playing. The ball comes over. One day, the boy, he is reaching for the ball and his arm is going into the thorny bushes. He is screaming. Of course, he is having some scratches. The mother, she is running out. She is very angry. She is yelling at me, saying, “What is wrong with you? Why are you putting these dangerous plants here? You are trying to hurt my children!”
I am very calm. I am saying, “These are my plants, on my property. I am having the right to plant what I want. They are natural deterrents. If your children are not coming onto my property, they will not be hurt. This is for my roses, for my garden. You have been ignoring my polite requests. You have been ignoring my fence. I am needing to protect my property.”
She is calling me a terrible person. She is saying I am mean. She is saying I am targeting her children. Now, they are not talking to me at all. They are even complaining to other neighbors about me, I hear. I am seeing them whispering when I am outside.
But I am thinking, I am trying everything. I am being polite. I am putting up a small fence. They are not respecting my boundaries. Is it not my right to protect my property and my cherished garden? I am not doing anything illegal. These are just plants. If they are not wanting their children to be scratched or itchy, they should teach them to stay on their own side of the property line and not to play with the ball near my delicate roses.
Am I The Jerk? I am feeling very alone in this. I am only wanting to protect my garden, my property, which I work so hard for. Please, tell me if I am wrong here. I need to understand if my actions, which seem very reasonable to me, are truly seen as malicious by others. I believe I have been patient and tried to resolve this peacefully first. What more could I have done?
